Your mother is the woman who carried you, birthed you and nursed you. No matter what happens, she’ll always stay very close to you. I have to admit I was a father’s child, but I connected with my mom at a completely different level. We were so alike! We could talk about korfball, we could both lose ourselves in books and we both didn’t really care about how other people saw us. Of course we were also different. My mother had a terrible fear of heights, and I loved climbing trees…
When I was younger, I experienced my mother as being overprotective at times. Climbing trees was something she definitely didn’t allow if she saw it, she believed it was way too dangerous (she has never known I fell out once… which is good). At all times, she was afraid we might get hurt. She once took me out of a match when I was injured, but after I screamed and yelled and cried she decided to let me handle injuries and stepping out of matches by myself. My brother never had anything to handle anything by himself. He was always in trouble, often through his own mistakes, but my mother was the one protecting him, making amends and saying that it were often the other boys as well, but he was the only one to get caught. As a mother’s child and being protected like that all his life, it was really hard on him when she died, cause he’d never learned to handle his own things.
This protective behaviour was not only about dangers, it was an expression of her caring. She wanted to take care of us so much, I always felt cared for and soothed. Up until I was 15 and told her I could do it myself, she made my sandwiches for lunch at school. It was hard for her to let go.
Most of all, I experienced my mother as happy. Quite a few embarrassing moments have occurred because she just did what she liked. Dancing in the middle of the room (any idea how embarrassing that is when you have friends over?!). Running over the field, chased by a teammate who wanted to throw lemonade over her (as a repercussion, she started it). Close, sexy dancing with my dad when my brother and I were present (ieuw). Enjoying a glass of wine every now and then (once leading to her standing drunkenly and sick at the front door after mixing different wines…). She enjoyed life to the full.
And that’s what I want to do exactly the same when my husband and I have kids. Teach them they can freely express themselves, showing them that life is fun and full of opportunities. Enjoy every single day. Thanks mom, for teaching me that.